Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause

You should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, 

and do many things of your own free will, 

and bring to pass much righteousness;

 

For the power is in you, 

wherein you are an agent unto yourself. 

And inasmuch as you do good 

you shall in nowise lose your reward.

 

(Doctrine & Covenants 58:27-28, alt.)

As I sat down to craft this week’s blog post, this scripture came to my mind. Before my Fulbright Scholar assignment, I had resolved to engage myself in various worthy causes while in Thailand, embracing every meaningful opportunity presented to me beyond the scope of my primary purpose (research). Since my arrival, I've enthusiastically said “yes” to numerous causes, including teaching assignments, volunteering at the orphanage, and even joining the volleyball team. I didn't anticipate, however, that amidst these amazing opportunities, I would be invited to embark on a new kind of engagement. Two weeks ago, Chris Smith proposed to me, and by my own free will, I said “yes!”

Tina & Chris at Our Engagement Dinner

Now, I find myself "anxiously engaged" in a different meaningful cause: the pursuit of nurturing an honest, loving, and committed relationship. Admittedly, I have a hint of anxiety stemming from past experiences, including my separation seven years ago and subsequent divorce five years ago. But, I am wholeheartedly dedicated to loving and cherishing Chris for the rest of my life. As you can tell from last week’s blog post, Chris is an amazing man and he is such a good fit for me. 

 

Since many of you have asked, I will tell you a little about Chris and how he proposed. 

 

Almost a year ago, Chris and I met through a mutual friend who had been talking to us about each other for over a year. Neither of us was ready at that time. Chris’ beloved wife, Pam, passed away in January 2021, and I was still working through my personal healing process. Because Chris and Pam had such a good marriage, Chris didn’t think he would ever marry again, and I was adamant that I would never even want to marry again. Over the past few years, I have been so very happy with my life; a life filled with joy, peace, supportive friends, great adventures, and many Saturday nights dancing with my Wonder Women (and sometimes with the men)! 

 

So when a friend asked me why I changed my mind about getting married, this was my response: 

 

Chris is my “why” for getting married. Considering the “who” to marry, “why” to marry, “when” to marry, “where” to marry, and “how” to marry – I am sure with the “who,” but I wasn’t feeling sure of the “why” until I realized my “who” is my “why.”

That’s a lot of “wh” words. In time, Chris and I will figure out when, where, and how to get married.  

 

Here is a little more about Chris: 

 

First, he is kind and gentle. He doesn’t let little things bother him; he is easy to get along with. Chris is such an honorable, God-loving man, and he treats me like a queen. He tells me daily that I am “beautiful,” gives me heartfelt gifts, and we spend a lot of time talking on the phone. He truly knows how to put his loved ones first. We enjoy doing things together, like playing pickleball, tennis, scuba diving, going out to dinner, watching shows (he had to convince me to watch "Pride and Prejudice"), and spending time with family. 

Tina & Chris Scuba Diving in Phuket

Chris grew up in El Cajon, CA with four siblings, and parents who were podiatrists (he gives great foot rubs!). He has 4 children and 7 grandchildren who love him dearly. He was an All-American swimmer and water polo player in high school, and a multiple conference champion when he swam for BYU; he still hits the pool almost daily. Chris served an LDS mission to Tampa, FL, and has served honorably in many church callings throughout his adult life. His career has been in healthcare, working as CIO of several systems across the US, and he is now enjoying retirement. Chris loves reading biographies and history books; recently we have been reading about improving relationships and discussing the principles and working to apply them in our lives. This is so fulfilling; we love learning and growing together through healthy discussions. One thing I really love about him is his ability to engage in honest and respectful conversations. 

 

Now, on to the proposal:

 

Our dear friend Nok and her family invited us on a magical trip to the southern part of Thailand packed with hiking, temple visits, beach time, kayaking, and eating lots of squid! We had such a delightful time. Chris kept joking that it was our honeymoon preview. They giggled every time he said that (so he said it a lot!). 

 

One unforgettable evening, Nok decked out a secluded table for two with a satin tablecloth, candles, sparkling cider, flowers, and dinner with a heart-shaped egg, love songs playing in the background (think "A Whole New World"). But Chris, being the romantic guy that he is, held off on popping the question until he had the perfect ring in hand. And a few days later we found it in Phuket – a Thai-style setting with a ruby and diamonds, symbolizing not just my birthstone, but also the priceless value he sees in me. One of the scriptures Chris sent to me while we were first dating was Proverbs 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”

 

Romantic Dinner in Chumphon, Thailand

The official proposal? Picture this: a quaint riverside restaurant, Nok's family surrounding us with leis, gifts, and all the love in the world (and a meal that included squid). As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a rosy glow over everything, Chris poured his heart out with expressions of gratitude to Nok’s family and his love for me, he then dropped down on one knee. The cheers, my tears, the overwhelming love – Nok said it was as if it came straight out of a fairytale.

After the Proposal        

Celebrating with Nok's Family

     

To each of you who has been a part of my journey, from my darkest days to this radiant moment – thank you. I feel so grateful for your love and support as I engage in this good cause filled with love, honor, and endless adventures with Chris. He has helped me to become a better version of myself as I have learned to love more completely and to trust again. Chris and I love each other dearly and look forward to a mutually fulfilling life together.